I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
