I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So much Jack, so little girl.
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