I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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