You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
