if you like me you must not know who I am
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
