So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
