that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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