the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
