i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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