): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
