Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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