I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
