we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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