I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
