no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
