To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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