Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
