she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
