Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
