Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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