Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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