the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
