but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
