Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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