shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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