ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
