Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
