you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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