I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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