im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
