Fuck appropriateness.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she smelled like a LAN party
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
