Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
