I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
