Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
