Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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