wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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