we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's blow job season.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
