did you get engaged???
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
