I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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