It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
