Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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