...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
