Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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