you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
