i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
