I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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