I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the condom got lost in my hair
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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