whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize