so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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