new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You can't special order awesome
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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