Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
